Story of my Pets (karangan budak tadika).

(Takes big breath  of relief)

Hi. I know it's been a long time since I've blogged, but something amazing just happened to appear at my doorstep! It's taking me through many new pages of my book, and also, in memory of old ones.

I picked up a little cat. I assume she must've been lost or abandoned, since I've seen her many times before around the area, in which she was still all fluffy and healthy. When I found her again, not a month ago, she was down to skin and bones, frightened by every sound, and matted tail.

Now, here she is at the deck of my house, in a cage, just having bathed (I washed her myself!), smelling faintly of chemically apple, grooming herself from the wash - which is something I'm seeing for the first time. She's put on a bit of weight, with a rounded belly - her spine still showing - but she's getting better. More active too!

This reminds me of my previous episodes of pet care.

So in honor of this event of pet sheltering, I would like to remember all the other little pet friends who have made my life so much more colorful growing up. I love all of you!

(In order of appearance, lol)

1. Sheena. A stray mother cat with her litter. First time encountering pets, but never really kept her nor the kittens.

2. Tiger and Red. Two Oscar fish. One was mine, the other my sister's. Both were so friendly, and swam to the patterns we would make with our fingers. My strongest memory of them was waking up for Sahur, and they were what made waking up at 4am worth it!

3. Chiliven. Named by my dad, Chiliven's chicken! Came to my house one day, crowing right on the patio! For some reason, before we decided to keep him, he kept coming to our house - and our house ONLY - every morning. So my mom, strangely enough, since she hates pets, made him a chicken kennel. I know you would call a chicken home a coop - but seriously - this was a rumah kampung styled kennel. Alas, Chilivens crowing was too loud for the neighbor, who had us send it away. :( I love you Chiliven.

4. Raven. We bought Chiliven a female friend. She was called Raven, but she was still a chicken.

5. Bilbo! Had him for four years. Before letting Bilbo be our indoor pet, Biblo stayed at a caged off section of my lawn, under an upside-down pot as a make-shift home. When we moved homes, we had the contractors make Bilbo a home out of brick, as they renovated our house. But soon enough, Bilbo was brought into the house and was house-pet, who greeted us every time we came home.

6. Three little goldfish! We didn't name them, but I loved them. They stayed outside the house, in a fountain. They were really gleeful little guys, but passed away one after the other, from being.. too gleeful? They always jumped out of their pond, and we did manage to save them a good couple of times, but - alas, we didn't manage to save them in time, all the time.

7. Molly. After sending Bilbo to boarding and grooming one day after a vacation trip away, at the pet store, my dad decided to bring Bilbo home a female companion. We didn't know it then, but Molly came to become the mother of his two baby buns he never got to meet.

8. Blanco and Mojo. Bunny twins. One white, and the other black, they stayed indoors growing up as baby bunnies, up until we moved to my current house, where they had themselves a shed and a portion of our lawn. I regret everyday that they were not allowed to stay indoors with us, because my mom didn't want pets in the house :(

9. Fishie. A male beta fish is also known as a fighting fish - but Fishie, fortunately, was not a fighter at all. Fishie was timid and approached new objects with caution, but was also the friendliest little guy to those he knew! Unfortunately Fishie was constipated often, and even after always having to feed him fresh peas, Fishie passed after about a year. I watched him take his last little bubbles of air, before he slowly lifted to the surface of the water. Burried him in my lawn, with a stone and leaf as a tombstone to remember him by. Oh god, this makes me want to cry again.

10. Betty. My dad thought it would be best to "replace" Fishie with another beta fish. Betty was a beautifully vibrant red. And he flared up every time someone passed him. But it was too soon for me, as I was still grieving over Fishie, and since no one aside from me usually takes care of pet maintenance, Betty passed away within a few months.

11. Koi fish. We had 11! 11 beautiful healthy koi fish at the pond of our deck, in which one was albino (or so we believe, from its all-grey scales), and another I particularly loved for its longer-than-usual tale. Stray cats from the neighborhood picked up a few, and we were down to so few, before they finally died from the water filter breaking down. :( This one hurts me too.

12. Schne! Or as its real name is: Waschne. Given to my sister as a birthday gift, Schne is all family. Everyone loves her, and can't wait to get back to her. No matter what kind of bad day, or bad mood any one of us are going through - we'll always find it in us to give her a good hug and a kiss.

Honorable mentions: 

1. This cat I'm currently trying to nurture back to health!

2. Minah, my arwah grandma's pet tortoise. She's too cute, and loves eating papaya, but only when its fed from the hands of my grandma. But Minah's been taken away by some Jabatan Perhilitan, and placed somewhere in Cheras. I hope to see her again soon. :(

I think I'm going to die.

It feels as if I've been running for so long, that now my feet can no longer carry me any further. I can't run anymore. Whatever it is I've been running from, has now caught up to me.

I feel it.

I feel it lurking behind me, it's breath grazing my back. I can hear it's face paced footsteps. I can hear it's taunts.

Soon enough, my legs will fail me completely. And I stumble to the ground, face buried in the dirt, I turn to the monster that chases me.

Take me, I surrender now.

For all the times I've tried my best to not end up here, and to all the people who kept their expectations onto me, thinking I would make it - I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I didn't make it.

I'm sorry I failed.