3am.

You deserve to acquaint with my bed sheets 

For you see, my mind has known you 

And thus, have planted pictures of your face 

Like rubber stamps on my pink silk pillow case 

They reap beneath the sunlight of smile:

That, the dawn that you give me  

So, water my dreams with your presence, please 

For my blankets are cold now

Lost, without strong arms around me

Ease this midnight with the moon 

That be both your grace and glory: 

Ruffled hair, heaving breath, and nestled posture 

To me, in this 3am madness - to me, my love: 

You are the most beautiful now than you probably have ever been 

And yet, you are miles apart.

But dear, believe me so

For these eyes will not ever know of rest if you were here with me

As I watch your gesture set in dreams 

You will drive me sleepless - mad!

Forever. 

For eternity.

I wonder if people think I am just asking for attention and that it is all a joke. Hm.

Anxiety Club: Session 1

[3.00am] Stomach churning, head light, head spinning. I should make the call.

[3.15am] Sensation rising, palms sweating, heart beating faster.

[3.18am] Legs shaking, hands twitching, losing breath. Body racing away.

[3.30am] Explode.

[4.00am] Tears. The sheets are no friend. The walls are only enemies.

[5.00am] Blood pumping. Shivering. Sit up. Get water, piss, lie down.

[5.30am] Implode.

[6.00am] Purge.

[6.05am] Confess. Apologize.

[6.12am] Breathe.

When you've got something to lose, every second you live in fear of losing it.

Call it paranoia.

Call it caring too much.

Call it a gentle suicide, maybe.

And murder weapon?

You.

We.

Blank paper walls.

You rub your eyes over and over 'till they fill with your favorite color. You hands reach further than they ever could; the room grows larger.

You could almost swear it's raining now - damp cheeks, flooded eyelids.

Does the taste intoxicate you?

Does the taste intoxicate you?